This is a true portrayal of me in the past. Faced with doing housework, I never thought it was a happy thing, but felt it was “drudgery”. “Doing housework” is something I must do, and it is something I need to do every day, so I began to explore how to use the knowledge of psychology to make “doing housework” a happy thing. Something to enjoy, something that can bring positive power to yourself.

“Doing Housework” Can Enhance “Sense of Value”

Everyone needs values. The so-called sense of worth is the feeling that we feel that we are needed and valued by others.

In the past, I always felt that a person’s sense of value can only be obtained through the affirmation of others. So, when no one comes to my home, I always don’t want to clean, but when someone comes to my home, I go to clean. But this approach makes us very passive. If no one sees it, we lose motivation to do chores. Or when we do a lot of housework but don’t get praise from others, we feel worthless.

Our identification with ourselves can also give us a sense of value. When we feel that we no longer need others to bring us valuable experiences, we get rid of the pressure brought by the huge external evaluation system on ourselves.

I still remember that one of my big motivations for doing housework was to get approval from my mother-in-law. However, the reality is that no matter how conscientiously I do it, no matter how perfect I think it is, there are always some things that are not good enough in her eyes, and I feel very frustrated and have low self-esteem because of this.

Later, when I was able to break away from her evaluation system and began to learn to identify with myself and see my sense of value, I no longer felt pressure when doing housework, but was full of motivation. Every time I do housework, I will hint to myself: What I do is valuable, I have contributed to this family, and my family needs me. Without me, how could our home be so clean, tidy, and warm?

In addition, I will also give myself value from a financial perspective. Sometimes, I also ask my aunt to clean the house. Auntie’s billing standard is 50 yuan per hour. So, when I don’t ask my aunt, if I am busy that day, in 4 hours, I save 200 yuan, which is equivalent to making 200 yuan. When I think about this, I feel a sense of worth. In a lecture, I also heard a teacher say: When mopping the floor, you should give yourself value. Imagine you mop the floor and make 10 bucks. You will be more motivated and feel happy when mopping the floor.

So, don’t take “doing housework” for granted, but see that you create a lot of value when doing housework, give yourself more recognition, instead of “working hard” to get recognition from others, and you will enjoy it.

“Doing Housework” Can Enter a Flow State

Flow means that when people are doing something, they concentrate on it and enter a positive and selfless state. When people enter a flow state, they are not only very efficient but also experience happiness in doing things. Therefore, many psychological experts suggest that we need to create more flow experiences in our lives so that we can achieve long-term happiness.

Yes, when we can enter the flow state, it is actually a happy experience. So, how can we get “housework” into a flow state?

To enter a flow state, three conditions need to be met: clear goals, matching goals and abilities, and timely feedback.

First, set clear goals.

• Mopping the floor is an abstract concept. We can specify where to mop the floor, whether it is all the floor in the entire home, or only a few rooms or certain areas, or it can also be allocated according to time. Mop the floor twice a week, or once every other day, or mop the floor upstairs on 1, 3, 5, and mop the floor downstairs on 2, 4, and 6, with one day off on Sunday… In this way, with a clear goal, it is easy to take action.

Second, goals and abilities match.

• We need to determine our goal level based on our abilities and time. It cannot be too difficult to complete, otherwise we will have no motivation to start taking action. If the goal is too difficult, it can be broken down into small goals one by one. For example, if I can’t mop the entire house in one day, then I will complete it in two days, or three days, depending on my specific ability. If there are six rooms and you want to mop them all in one day, you can also mow two rooms in the morning and two rooms in the afternoon, which is a perfect result.
• In short, make sure you can finish it, rather than feeling stressed out just thinking about it. This is to use the principle that “medium-difficulty goals can best stimulate our inner motivation” and turn pressure into motivation by setting appropriate goals.

Third, provide timely feedback.

• After we have set a suitable goal, we can start mopping room by room, and give ourselves positive feedback after mopping each room, such as eating a favorite fruit, taking a sip of intoxicating coffee, and listening to A piece of your favorite soft music, or a smile to acknowledge your efforts.
• The process of completing housework itself will bring positive feedback to you. Looking at the clean floor mopped through your own efforts, compared with the dirty floor before, you will feel a sense of happiness from the heart.

“Doing Housework” Can Bring a Sense of Accomplishment

The sense of accomplishment brought by “doing housework” can be divided into two levels:

First, it is the sense of accomplishment on the physical level.

• Housework is also a kind of “exercise”. For example, mopping the floor for half an hour will make your whole body sweat slightly, giving you a sense of happiness and accomplishment similar to that after exercise, and you will save money on going to the gym.
• Some housework, like doing yoga, requires us to constantly stretch our bodies and focus. During this process, the sympathetic nerves are relaxed, which can relieve our tense nerves and activate the parasympathetic nerves.
• Every time we complete a chore, our reward system will be stimulated and we will accumulate a sense of accomplishment.

Second, doing housework itself is solving problems. By solving problems, you can gain a sense of accomplishment.

• I remember one time when I was mopping the floor, I encountered some problems. There are various stains on the floor: ink, glue stains, and kitchen oil stains, which cannot be removed with a mop alone. Grease stains in the kitchen are relatively easy to remove. Use my grease remover to spray and wipe, and it will look brand new in no time. But it seemed that the ink couldn’t be wiped clean with a rag. I suddenly remembered that I could use something containing alcohol to dissolve it. I immediately took a 75% alcohol wipe and tried it. I just wiped it lightly and it was clean immediately. Then, I tried to use alcohol wipes to wipe away the glue stains but found that it was of no use. Then I had an idea and remembered that my husband had bought something called “Glue Stains Treasure” before. I wanted to give it a try and dropped some on it. On the glue-stained area, then, with a gentle wipe with a rag, something magical happened again, all the glue stains were dissolved, and the floor was as clean as new again.
• In this way, through my efforts, all kinds of stains on the floor were removed, and my mood became more comfortable. It turns out that the things I once thought were difficult were not that I couldn’t do them, but that I had to look at myself. Whether you are willing to do it or not you are capable of doing many things, and this kind of success achieved by breaking through your limitations will bring you heartfelt self-appreciation and self-recognition.

“Do Housework” with a Grateful Heart You Will Be Happier

Many times, the things we take for granted are not taken for granted. When we “do housework” with a grateful heart, our hearts will be happier and fuller.

With the continuous deepening of research by psychologists, more and more foreign surveys have shown that if you want to obtain sustained happiness, then learn to be grateful, and your happiness index can be increased by 25% in 5 minutes.

Research by Martin Seligman, the founder of positive psychology, found that practicing gratitude is a simple and easy way to continuously improve happiness. Many scholars later proved that practicing gratitude can combat negative emotions such as anxiety and protect physical and mental health.

Housework does not just mean tedious work, it can also be a blessing.

For example, when you are washing the dishes, tell yourself that it is because you have just finished eating and it is because you got the opportunity to enjoy the food; when you are mopping the floor, be grateful that you have a place to live and do not have to endure the wind and rain. Play to gain a sense of security; when folding clothes, be grateful that you have so many favorite clothes and feel the softness and warmth of the clothes.

In the past, when I was washing my son’s clothes, I would often complain that his clothes were too dirty, with all kinds of oil stains, ink stains, saliva, and even rice grains, vegetable residues, etc. Later, when I wash his clothes with a grateful heart, I feel very happy. After all, I can wash his clothes because I have such a cute child, and I can participate in and witness the growth of his life. He is cute. The kind and warm smile will immediately appear in my mind, making me feel warm.

I hope we can all enjoy the happiness of “doing housework” and spread our love to every corner of our home.