Anxiety is a very normal but very unwelcome feeling. Most of us would choose not to go through it if we could.

In some ways, it’s like a smoke alarm. A smoke detector will alert you to actual dangers and allow you to leave your home safely, but it will also alert you to things that aren’t actually dangerous, like how a smoke alarm goes off on a piece of toast.

Likewise, the threat detection part of our brain may trigger when it perceives a threat, but this is not an actual danger to us.

When smoke alarms go off frequently for things that are not dangerous, it may be a sign to seek support and develop tools to manage your stress response. Additionally, common thoughts, behaviors, and actions can cause your anxiety smoke alarm to go off more often than it should.

What are they:

Black-And-White Thinking

A common unhelpful thinking pattern may be called black-and-white thinking, or also known as all-or-nothing thinking.

This may mean looking only at the good or bad aspects of a situation, without considering the gray areas.

So, for example, if I make a mistake in an email, it must mean I’m incompetent, and everyone else thinks so too. In fact, it doesn’t mean you’re incompetent; a mistake means you’re human, and the person on the receiving end will think so (that is, if they even notice the mistake).

These thoughts can bring you down and even make future communications very stressful, causing you to feel anxious every time you have to email this person, or even causing you to stop sending emails altogether.

Avoidance

When it comes to stopping doing something entirely, therapists say that’s another habit that can have a negative impact on you.

The number one behavior that makes anxiety worse is avoidance. This is actually counterintuitive to what most people think. Anxiety can become worse when you avoid situations, places, or people that trigger your anxiety.

Think about it: If you avoid checking your credit card balance because it causes you anxiety, then when you do check your credit card balance, you’ll be filled with anxiety—and that’s after weeks and weeks of looming stress.

This avoidance fuels the cycle of anxiety and intensifies the physical response in a way that exacerbates the anxiety over time.

Instead of avoiding a situation, you should approach it step by step.

For example, for social anxiety disorder, instead of going to a large party, schedule a one-on-one coffee date with a new friend, or attend the party for 10 minutes and then leave.

We want to deal with things and are willing to tolerate a little discomfort in service of our values. This means that if we value friendships, it would make sense for us to engage in these social interactions rather than avoid them.

After we do something that triggers anxiety, it’s important to take the time to tell our brain, “Hey, we got through this, we did this hard thing, we survived.”

Seeking Reassurance

Constantly asking other people for feedback on the situation or even Googling your health symptoms can exacerbate your anxiety. These behaviors are called comfort seeking.

In the short term, self-reassurance will calm the worry feedback loop in your mind, but in the long term, it actually creates another negative feedback loop that requires reassurance to feel good.

In other words, reassurance is a quick fix but won’t do anything for your anxiety in the long run.

I always encourage people to avoid doing this if possible as it can significantly increase anxiety for many people in the long run.

Catastrophizing

Are you worried that your anxiety will cause you to faint and not be able to get help from those around you? Or have you ever been late in sending your rent check and thought that meant you were about to be evicted immediately?

This is called catastrophizing, which is thinking about the worst-case scenario and believing that it is the most likely to happen. As you might expect, catastrophizing leads to anxiety.

According to cognitive behavioral therapy, they believe anxiety is caused by us overestimating a situation and then underestimating our ability to cope with the situation.

It may be helpful to challenge these worst-case scenario thoughts by saying, “What if everything goes well?” Because anxiety is not thinking about the best case scenario.

Additionally, it’s useful to think of possible ways to deal with a bad situation. If the worst happens, what are your strengths in dealing with that situation that we might also be underestimating in that moment?

In other words, if you did faint, no one would help you? Can you discuss this possibility with your loved ones so they are prepared to intervene? Or, if you do mail your rent check late, can you pay your landlord a late fee?

The worst-case scenario usually doesn’t happen, but catastrophic thinking can make you believe it will.

Negative Self-Talk

It turns out that telling yourself you’re not good enough or that something won’t work out is pretty mean; it also increases your anxiety.

This is a huge problem, again many people don’t know how they talk to themselves in their daily lives and daily activities, and the words they use to describe themselves.

These words are often very harsh—harsher than when we talk to friends or family.

People-Pleasing

People-pleasing can also exacerbate your anxiety. Think about it: When you continually put other people’s needs and opinions ahead of your own, you’re setting yourself up for some uncomfortable feelings, including anxiety.What’s more, it can make you feel like you’re neglecting yourself, which can lead to anxiety.

Many people, especially women, are conditioned to put the needs of others before their own, which makes this habit difficult to break.

This does create a phenomenon of self-neglect, putting the wishes and needs of others above your own, and this can lead to unclear boundaries.

In fact, simply developing a self-worth that is dependent on other people, and what you do for other people, creates tremendous anxiety.

Ways To Address These Anxiety-Inducing Habits

To combat these behaviors, grounding skills can really help. Grounding techniques can lower your heart rate and bring about a state of relaxation not present during anxious chaos.

Basic activities include walking or exercising. Additionally, Grosso said mindfulness skills can help. It’s like being aware of your five senses – taste, touch, sight, smell, sound – and the reason that connection with our five senses is grounded is because it really brings us into the present moment.

In addition, people can try abdominal breathing, which is consciously taking deep breaths in which your abdomen stretches forward when you inhale and contracts when you exhale. This delivers more oxygen to the brain, helping to give you a sense of calm.

It is also helpful to name the anxiety-provoking behavior when it occurs.The way to notice our thought patterns is to label them as they occur. “Oh, here I go, catastrophic, bring this to my attention,”

Alternatively, take a moment to name the negative self-talk or comfort-seeking situation that’s going on. Then bring your attention to the present moment.

Over time, you can learn how to distance yourself from these thoughts and become aware of them when they occur so that you can remind yourself that they are not helpful and, in fact, are not reality.

In addition to at-home tools for coping with anxiety, it can be helpful to seek professional help.Anxiety can be more complex than it appears on the surface.

Another interesting take on anxiety is that anxiety may actually be a secondary emotion and kind of mask another emotion that you find unacceptable.

You may have been raised to believe that anger is unacceptable, or you may harbor sadness that manifests as anxiety. In other words, there may be a bigger problem, and that’s where a therapist’s advice can help.

I think therapy is a very powerful experience in understanding ourselves better, understanding our emotions and why we do the things we do.