If you use TikTok for therapy, you may have seen a viral video posted by therapist Ilene Glance, which sparked such backlash that she deleted her account @sidequesttherapy.

Glance titled the video “When clients want to move past trauma in their first session” with the caption “That will never happen again on my watch.”

Not surprisingly, many other therapists (and people in general) posted videos of their own in response, explaining how problematic and hurtful her message was, and wondering why Glance would apparently belittle clients who talked about their traumatic experiences .

According to Google Trends, “trauma dumping” is a trending phrase on Twitter and a breakout term online. It describes when a person unconsciously shares or “dumps” highly personal, emotionally charged, trauma-based information or stories about someone who is not a willing recipient, which is also known as oversharing.

This is different from venting about something that’s bothering you, like dating troubles or a difficult boss.

When we bring up trauma to someone who is unprepared or has not received professional training, we run the risk that their actions or reactions may further trigger the speaker and unknowingly reinforce the trauma they have experienced.

However, sharing is important because we need the support of others to process trauma. We can’t hide it. So where is the balance between healthy sharing and unhelpful sharing?

Finding people with whom we can share our trauma is a good thing because connection builds a sense of safety and allows us to heal from trauma. However, it is important for both of you that the recipient is ready and willing to support you in this.

For your therapist, their job is to listen when you talk about your trauma—despite what that viral TikTok video may suggest. There really should be no such thing as “trauma dumping” in therapy.

Therapy is a space where you don’t have to examine your trauma, and sometimes the therapist may need to help the client slow down the narrative so that work can occur on a deeper level, but basically all trauma is welcome to talk about. Therefore, there is no trauma dumping in therapy.

Don’t believe anyone who implies you should censor yourself in therapy.

A therapist’s apparent dismissal of a client’s trauma may prevent many untreated people from receiving necessary treatment. A study in Psychological Medicine found that stigma is the main reason people avoid seeking help.

This is very dangerous because people who have experienced traumatic events should seek help from a mental health professional. Viral TikTok videos suggesting this type of sharing is “wrong” and “bad” may lead some viewers to be reluctant to reveal their own trauma for fear of trauma dumping.

Traumatic life events are linked to suicide, especially among men, according to a study in the European Journal of Psychotraumatology. Additionally, trauma—especially unresolved trauma—can lead to serious challenges, such as eating disorders and self-harm.

If a therapist does not have the skills, training, and supervision to handle receiving information from a client, they should not be working with someone who has experienced trauma. It’s unsettling to think of therapists saying things that could put people off seeking help or fuel more shame and judgment because of their experiences.

It’s a double whammy. Many trauma survivors take on the role of caregiver in their normal lives, caring for others in the way they would have liked to have been cared for before or during their traumatic experience. This video may prompt some clients to assume a caregiver role as a therapist, fearing that they are being overburdened.

Here’s how to talk about trauma in therapy.

Sharing your trauma in therapy is undoubtedly a difficult experience. You may worry about how the therapist will respond, think you’re talking nonsense, or look for signs that they’re judging you. But there’s no need to feel depressed.

Relationships aren’t always clean and tidy; sometimes it’s a messy process. None of us, not even therapists, share our feelings or experiences perfectly every time.

Your therapist may know firsthand what you’re going through. They receive regular supervision and many undergo treatment themselves. Therefore, you do not need to take care of your therapist. Instead, let them take care of you.

Making sure you find the right therapist can help. If your therapist makes you feel like you’re oversharing, that’s a red flag that they’re not the right therapist for you. If you’re not willing to open up to your therapist—yes, even talk—you won’t get what you need from the process.You can find trauma therapists in your area on the Psychology Today website.

It’s important to find the right “fit” between patient and provider so patients feel comfortable talking about their past experiences. In fact, the patient should do most of the talking, and in return, the patient should know what they should expect from the therapist, openness, authenticity, empathy, praise, and ultimately the skills to overcome the impact of their experience.

An essential part of getting better is sharing what you are going through, trauma and more.Y

our therapist can provide advice on how to cope with trauma in specific, effective ways. A therapist can help you learn how to release and sometimes control your emotions.

So don’t worry, you are free to go to therapy and “trauma dump” as much as you want – because trauma dumping in therapy doesn’t actually exist. By sharing your experiences and feelings, you can truly heal and get the treatment you deserve.